Clever Class Poem
The poet and narrator of the class poem, reflecting on the shared journey and bidding farewell to the class.
In the Wake of the News
The narrator speaks in first person throughout the chapter, sharing personal anecdotes and verses.
Monday
The narrator explains the origin of the short Monday column, citing a boss's instruction to rest one day a week.
Come On, You Roseate Day!
The narrator delivers a motivational poem to a fellow writer, advising against resting on laurels.
To the New One
The speaker, likely a parent or older sibling, addresses the newborn Phil with affectionate teasing.
West Town Storm
The narrator attempts to compose a rhyme but is repeatedly interrupted by the storm and power outages.
This Afternoon
The speaker who is compelled to stay at the game despite the cold.
The Youngest One Breaks In
The narrator who humorously mishears the word and celebrates the event.
To the Man Higher Up
The speaker who writes at home or at the office, pleading for a private room.
To the Latest
The speaker who lovingly addresses the new arrival and refuses to have the child named after him.
Help Wanted
The speaker, a caretaker or nursemaid, who cheerfully performs most duties but seeks relief from answering questions.
The Eternal Question
The exasperated parent or adult figure being worn down by endless questions.
Exit Madge
The narrator expresses grief over Madge's departure and the loss of her nurse, who cared for their son.
A Mysterious Antipathy
Describes the family dynamics and Brother Jim's animosity toward No. 3.
Parting
The father who must leave his little ones and three small sons for a journey through far eastern lands.
First Aid
The narrator uses a rhyming dictionary and reflects on its limitations.
Obituary
The narrator pens the obituary with misty eyes and a heavy heart.
Today's Results
The narrator speaks in first person, making predictions and inviting criticism if wrong.
Exalted Above His Fellows
The proud parent who observes and contrasts his son's joy with other famous figures' accomplishments.
Bib Ballads
The father and author who reflects on parenting, discipline, and his son's antics throughout the poems.
Goodbye Bill
The speaker who wrestles with spending the dollar bill on personal pleasures versus family needs.
A Visit from Young Gloom
The speaker who recounts the unpleasant visit and expresses relief at the stranger's departure.
An Appreciative Audience
The speaker who addresses his son and muses about the simplicity of entertaining children versus adults.
Discipline
The father who disciplines his child by locking him in a room.
Inexpensive Guests
The narrator hosts three doll guests at meals and observes the lack of impact on the grocery bill.
His Sense of Humor
The parent who compares their own humor with their son's and finds the boy's pranks unfunny.
Speech Economy
The narrator observes and celebrates the child's linguistic shortcuts.
Welcome to Spring
The narrator speaks as a parent, expressing relief at the end of winter bundling.
Taste
The parent or observer who wonders at the child's unconventional choices.
Riddles
The speaker poses riddles from a child's perspective, questioning the asymmetry of enjoyable versus tedious tasks.
Hesitation
The speaker who is reluctant to wake the child from a joyful nap.
His Wonderful Choo-Choos
The narrator observes the child's play and later deals with the aftermath.
Cousinly Affection
The speaker, likely an older child, addresses their own feelings and actions toward Cousin Paull.
My Baby's Garden
The speaker observes the baby's garden and reflects on the scene.
Decision Reversed
The narrator experiences irritation during Christmas shopping, then a change of heart upon seeing his child's joy.
The Grocery Man and the Bear
The storyteller who invents and repeatedly tells the tale of the Grocery Man and the Bear to a captivated child.
Coming Home
The speaker of the poem, addressing the house and anticipating the child's return.
His Imagination
The father who wistfully admires his child's imaginative play.
His Memory
The father who envies his son's memory and struggles with adult worries.
Confession
The speaker who describes his reverse-detective method of parenting.
His Lady Friend
The speaker, presumably a parent, who feels abandoned by the son's new attachment.
Declaration of Independence
The parent or caregiver observing and addressing the child's declaration of self-sufficiency.
The Eternal Greeting
The speaker of the poem, likely the father, reflecting on the child's greeting and the nature of their bond.
Guess Again
The child who offers to help daddy but really wants to play.
Nearly a Sinecure
The narrator watches his child play at going to the office and wishes for such an easy job.
The Heckuses
The skeptical parent who doubts the existence of the Heckus family.
His Favorite Role
The speaker addresses the child, marveling at their imaginative capacity and questioning their choice of role.
The Paths of Rashness
The narrator speaks in first person, addressing 'son' and warning against rash behavior.
The New Plaything
The speaker, likely a parent, addresses the boy and reflects on his possible reactions to the new baby.
B. F. Affleck
The speaker of the poem, expressing a wry appreciation for bumpy roads.
J. N. Armstrong
The narrator who asks Armstrong to tell his story.
Nathan Ascher
The speaker who disparages Nathan Ascher's lack of productivity.
Jas. A. Ballard
The speaker who sends a rush order for coal and appreciates fair pricing.
F. L. Bateman
The speaker who addresses F. L. Bateman with gratitude and humor.
Richard Beamish
The narrator presents a humorous limerick about Richard Beamish.
A. F. Brockman
The narrator offers a concise, admiring portrait of Brockman.
Geo. B. Caldwell
The narrator delivers a sardonic commentary on Geo. B. Caldwell.
Wm. H. Clare
The speaker expressing doubt about the new customs collector.
F. Y. Coffin
The speaker of the verse, delivering a lighthearted take on mortality and insurance.
Charles A. Comiskey
The voice behind the limerick, speaking directly to Son Lou and praising Charles A. Comiskey.
F. A. Cotharin
The speaker who has been sold insurance by F. A. Cotharin and plans to get even by dying before the premium is due.
Charles H. Dean
The narrator offers a playful, rhyming description of Charles H. Dean.
P. L. Deutsch
The narrator observes and describes P. L. Deutsch's golfing reactions.
George B. Dryden
The narrator presents a lighthearted, admiring portrait of George B. Dryden.
Harry W. Dubiske
The narrator observes and comments on Harry W. Dubiske's role as a teacher of salesmanship.
J. C. Dunn
The narrator reports hearing J. C. Dunn's story.
Victor Elting
The narrator who observes Victor Elting getting dressed and realizes the purpose of snowshoes.
Uriah S. Epperson
The narrator provides a witty observation about Uriah S. Epperson's initials and his influence in Kansas City.
Chas. (Chick) Evans
The speaker of the limerick, who claims to be very like Chick Evans in golfing skill.
Herman Friestedt
The narrator presents a lighthearted verse about Herman Friestedt.
Harry R. Gibbons
The narrator expresses a personal connection with Harry R. Gibbons through their mutual support of the White Sox, despite political disagreements.
J. P. Graver
The narrator aligns with J. P. Graver's fishing philosophy.
Lelan O. Green
The narrator presents a playful, admiring sketch of Lelan O. Green.
Wells W. Hawtin
The narrator presents a brief, witty profile of Wells W. Hawtin.
Wm. J. Healy
The speaker of the limerick, addressing the reader directly.
Charles Herendeen
The narrator presents a short, whimsical portrait of Charles Herendeen.
August Herrmann
The speaker who reflects on August Herrmann's character and reputation.
E. W. Houser
The speaker who calls upon E. W. Houser to stand and bow, offering a toast.
G. J. L. Janes
The narrator presents a lighthearted, admiring portrait of G. J. L. Janes.
James Levy
The narrator observes and describes James Levy's transition from cycling to selling planes and cars.
M. DeWitt McAlpine
The narrator delivers a lighthearted, admiring verse about M. DeWitt McAlpine.
Chas. A. McCulloch
The speaker who offers the tribute to McCulloch.
Jas. C. McGill
The speaker of the verse, using 'we' to express a collective, casual attitude.
C. R. McKay
The speaker of the poem, reflecting on McKay's position and the allure of a carefree spot in Michigan.
Col. Angus McLean
The narrator presents a lighthearted verse about Scottish pride.
Harry Moir
The narrator addresses the reader, describing Harry Moir and his hotel.
W. R. Moorhouse
The speaker who contrasts his own gambling habits with Moorhouse's trap shooting.
G. E. Muehleback
The narrator presents a whimsical, poetic description of G. E. Muehleback's melancholy.
Col. L. M. Nicolson
The narrator presents a playful limerick about Col. L. M. Nicolson.
Alfred O'Gara
The speaker who expresses nervousness about flying in O'Gara's taxiplane.
Senator John F. Overfield
The speaker addressing 'Kid' and describing Senator Overfield.
John E. Owens
The narrator who recounts John E. Owens's story and expresses belief in it.
Arthur A. Patterson
The narrator presents a lighthearted verse about Arthur A. Patterson.
Ferdinand W. Peck
The narrator presents a biographical sketch of Ferdinand W. Peck.
Lt. Col. N. M. Percy
The doughboy who speaks in the limerick, reflecting on his survival and the surgeon's unusual title.
C. S. Peterson
The narrator presents a satirical verse about C. S. Peterson.
Dr. W. S. Phillips
The speaker who reflects on Dr. Phillips' prediction and imagines a humorous lunar excursion.
Guy Bates Post
The speaker who praises Guy Bates Post.
Hanson F. Randle
The narrator presents a comedic verse about Hanson F. Randle.
Wm. H. Rankin
The narrator offers a lighthearted farewell and welcome to Rankin.
F. H. Rawson
The speaker who admits fault for any disagreement between their stubs and Rawson's statements.
George W. Reed
The speaker who contrasts the leisure of fuel men with the worry of common people.
Alexander H. Revell
The narrator expresses a wish to be as young as Revell when reaching his age.
Wallace N. Robinson
The narrator, who was not notified about the dollar giveaway.
J. J. Rosenthal
The speaker who observes and comments on J. J. Rosenthal's role at the Woods Theatre.
Benjamin Serlis
The artist attempting to capture Benjamin Serlis.
Major A. A. Sprague
The narrator presents the bear's dying words as a whimsical rhyme.
Fred E. Sterling
The narrator observes the audience's impatience and the manager's announcement of Fred Sterling's arrival.
Elliott G. Stevenson
The narrator presents a short, humorous epitaph-like poem about Elliott G. Stevenson.
J. M. Sullivan
The narrator presents a limerick about J. M. Sullivan.
A. J. Thatcher
The speaker who lost on the bout but met A. J. Thatcher.
Max Thorek
The speaker who laments having to scrounge for ticket money while others pay to see the doctor.
Edward J. Tobin
The narrator presents a lighthearted, satirical take on Edward J. Tobin's educational philosophy.
Egbert Van Alstyne
The narrator reflects on Egbert Van Alstyne's musical achievements.
Wm. F. Von Sennet
The narrator presents a lighthearted, poetic sketch of Wm. F. Von Sennet.
John Wagner
The narrator poses a rhetorical question about the profitability of clean boxing.
William M. Walker
The narrator presents a lighthearted verse about William M. Walker.
Augustus J. Wampler
The narrator describes Augustus J. Wampler's character and methods.
G. M. Weeks
The narrator introduces and describes G. M. Weeks.
Albert G. Welsh
The speaker of the limerick, observing Albert G. Welsh's success.
Fred H. Wickett
The speaker who regrets not heeding Wickett's investment advice.
F. M. Zeiler
The narrator presents the verse about F. M. Zeiler.
The Phantom Sister
The father who recounts his son's imaginary sister and the family's amused acceptance.
Dave’s Imperturbability
The father who observes Davey's imperturbability and resolves to emulate it.
Apology
The speaker who admits to avoiding work in favor of playful physical feats.
Home
The speaker of the poem, reflecting on the contrast between his past and present homes.
An Autobiography
The narrator recounts his own life story, from birth to his career in journalism.
The Constant Jay
The recipient of Kaufman's relentless letters.
